A recent New York Times article went into depth as to why millennials are postponing marriage. The median age for marriage is now at 29 for men and 27.4 for women, up from 23 and 20.8 in 1970.  For those interviewed for the article, financial stability, being established in careers, and enjoying a variety of life experiences were important milestones to reach before marrying. 

“People are not postponing marriage because they care about marriage less, but because they care about marriage more,” said Benjamin Karney, a professor of social psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles.

I am quite familiar with this trend; my daughter and her fiancé passed their third anniversary (of dating) before he proposed, which is less than the average of six and half years cited in the article. I included that article in my weekly reading list a couple of weeks ago knowing about the upcoming surprise engagement.

My daughter, Claire Tallman, and her fiancé, Taylor Gerber, got engaged at the end of June. When I had my first meaningful conversation with my daughter following her (surprise) engagement, we came to the subject of a wedding. I wondered if she and her fiancé, Taylor, had discussed it at all. She said, “Mom, you would be proud of us. We have spent way more time discussing how to merge our financial lives than we have about a wedding!” Indeed, I am proud, and also quite pleased that she and Taylor were open to being interviewed on the subject for a NextGen Podcast.

The relevant background information includes the fact that they are both just past 30 and live in the Washington DC area. Claire is a physical therapist working in a hospital outpatient facility, and Taylor is a trained musician who works in music royalty administration and plays in a variety of ensembles for fun. They have established themselves professionally; they have a large social network in the area and beyond, and have spent their post-college years in a variety of living arrangements. You will see through the interview how this has likely influenced their behavior and attitudes about money and joining their financial lives.

Listen to find out how they manage expenses as a couple now and what might change when they tie the knot, if/how they budget, (spoiler alert – they do pay themselves first), the list of things they feel they need to learn more before saying “I do,” how they feel about weddings, and their advice to other couples getting ready to take their relationships to the next level.

For the record, this interview took place late in the evening, so I apologize in advance for the “ums” and the “giggles” (and how often I say “cool.”) After listening, I bet you can guess what they talked about before they could sleep that night!!!

0:00 Introduction

0:39 First post-engagement money talk/Claire

2:09 First post-engagement money talk/Taylor

2:38 Shared Financial Values - Millennials living in an expensive city

5:07 First pre-engagement money conversations - deciding where to live - rent versus buy

9:30 When the critical information was shared - (salary, credit score, debt (non-mortgage), investments)

12:08 How do they manage/split household expenses

13:30 Joint Accounts or Venmo?

16:00 Do they follow a budget? What are their money strategies?

18:40 What do they think they need to learn more about before getting married?

20:20 What about kids?

21:50 Advice to other couples?

24:30 Values aligned

25:30 Lessons from living together

26:00 Where do they go for financial advice?

27:25 Have/do they use financial apps?

30:00 What would their ideal wedding be? Hear their rationale.

34:50 Wedding dress? 

35:50 The awesome proposal - a cute story with a financial lesson

About the Author